BC Gets Back On Course with Two Wins in One Weekend

by tr Email

Captain Dansky, seen here celebrating Saturday's victory, decrisbed a post game celebration that made everyone at Murder Burger jealous.

SACRAMENTO, California (AP) - BC captain H. M. S. Dansky anchored the attack for two important road tilts as BC climbed back to .500 this past weekend. Dansky showed textbook jibes on Saturday at Palo Alto, while Sunday Streets of London’s Nimitz Class defenders were no match for his veteran tacks. Sean “I’ve Got No Beef with Cattle, But Ostriches Really Ruffle My Feathers” Whitacre once again proved that he has no off button, playing through the final whistle on Sunday. Pat Lorian was his usual beady eyed self in net, allowing everyone else on the field to relax a bit. Special thanks to Tom Loulet for his work at close defense, and also for sparing Thumper the Rabbit. BC is back in action this Saturday against CLIF Bar in Sausalito.

Has Milk Been Putting On Weight?

by mcgurk22 Email

Team Barbary Clark lost a nail biter in overtime to a scrappy (yet poorly dressed) 40 Thieves team to conclude the San Diego Lacrosse tournament. In a coaching move that could only be called "Clarkian", Coach Clark benched All-American goalkeeper Milk "FerNet" Fenton, electing to start his always confident (yet untested) backup Kris Klark. Previously, Klark's contributions to the Barbary Clark team appear to be his ability to 'boot & rally', as well as his short-stick defense which generally referred to as "Eff You Guys".

Never one to let opportunity pass him by, Klark logged a impressive first half. Activities were not necessarily limited to goalkeeping, and included the heckling of the opposing team, the heckling of his own team and the heckling of an old lady walking past the field. Klark also made at least one impressive save, thanks in part to an attackman who still believes that stickside high shots useful… “assuming the goalie just gets out of the way.”

Unfortunately, the second half would not smile so kindly on Barbary Clark. One of the referees (who had decided that getting paid for actually working the game was just asking too much) elected to not bother enforcing the rules of the game, and drew the ire of Clark Nation. An arguing Assistant Coach Clark was told by the ref "It's just a consolation game, and I don't care". An incensed Kris Klark then pulled the cage over and announced "Then you can not enforce this rule a-hole". Everyone on the sideline gave the scrappy backup goalie from Upstate New York a standing ovation, commenting that if nothing else "he certainly does have quite a mouth on him".

San Diego Photos

by mcgurk22 Email

Few pix from the SD Tourney a few weeks back...unfortunately, the 'Remote Control Robot' duo were not documented.

Barbary Clark 8, Clif Bar 7. "Chris Clark assists Chris 'Carter' Clark for game-winning goal, players Clark and 'That Guy' both ejected during half time discussion with ref's"

by viceroyterrific Email

In a pain-staking finish of what was an aggravatingly close game, The Barbary Clark lacrosse club wore down Team Clif Bar to the score of 8-7 this past Saturday, on an otherwise pleasant afternoon in Sausalito.

Relying on an efficient and opportunistic coaching staff that badgered the refs into 15 man up situations for BC, the Clarks were able to capitalize on 7 chances, and ultimately were awarded the game winning goal from lead referee Tim Collins after Box Coach Carter 'That's a terrible call and you should be ashamed of yourself' Clark, effectively made Collins ears bleed.

"I have to hand it to myself," said Coach Clark, "I really went out of my way to prove that my knowledge of lacrosse rules and the minutiae of crease violations was superior to all others." When asked how that may have actually turned the favor of the game to Clif Bar, Clark replied, "Scoreboard, asshole".

In a losing effort, stymied by players being harangued by the BC bench for uniform violations and losing game rhythm from well placed time outs called by the Clarkian coaches, Clif Bar was at a loss as to what happened. "I don't know what to say," said Clif Bar player, Clifford Cliftenstein, "we're more talented than Barbary Clark, and quite frankly we're not as much of pricks as they are, but we somehow fell apart." Asked if whether they look forward to playing Barbary Clark in the playoffs, Cliftenstein mentioned a preference for bathing in a tub broken glass and rubbing alcohol.

In related news, cloning technology has since been banned in the NATO and OPEC countries, and supreme mullah Tehlann Al-Hashareen has issued a fatwa upon Barbary Clark.

An Oldie But a Goodie

by tr Email

"What can I do to make this stop? Do you want to punch me? Hit me in the face so I don't have to listen to you continue. Please."

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